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Heal…Healing…Healed

Well…almost healed. Yesterday, was the first morning that I’ve woken up and started moving around like my normal self. I am still tender to move up and down stairs or stride around easily outdoors but on the flat even surfaces of the house, it is great. What a relief!! I know it is not perfect and complete healing is still going to take months, but I finally feel energized! I haven’t posted anything during this whole escapade with my ankle. It was just too hard to “speak”.  I basically put aside social media. Some would grab onto it to keep them connected and sane but in my situation, I had to put it away. It would have pulled me down or rather, I would pull myself down.  I was already somewhat physically removed, and I couldn’t take the reminders that results from browsing things such as Facebook. Also, the negativity that is out there would overwhelm me when I was already feeling vulnerable and on tenuous ground.  

Everything was hard. Sleeping was frustrating and broken because of pain and the discomfort of having this big log, AKA cast on my leg and foot. I can’t count how many times I woke up from kicking myself or trying to turn without getting tangled in blankets. Getting up to use the washroom in the middle of the night, on any given day is a bit of a pain.  These days I’m lucky if I sleep right through the whole night. In a no-weight bearing cast, well you can just imagine…

But I managed. Somehow, I survived with the help of my family and my stubbornness to not complain too much. It is what it is, and I needed to be positive. I surprised myself because I was so wary of getting depressed and being emotional. I am not good at asking for help, for the big or the little things. I had to ask a lot of my family. I texted friends a bit but not a huge amount. I feel guilty for the little bit that I did because they had to be a consoling and comforting ear and it pains me to put others in that position for my benefit. So, considering or despite, how much I cut myself I did ok.

What do you think?