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I have to be brave…

Well, here we go! I have to launch this blog sometime. Lets call it a pre-launch.  I really don’t expect anyone to see this. There is soooo much out there and I still have a lot to do.

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Residual Effects

They say that when you are a kid a bad experience can stick with you.  This is so true for kids that are HSP.  Many times when we remember a situation or event it is vivid in our memories throughout life. We remind ourselves of the residue that it left all the time. Every time there is a decision to be made it somehow wheedles it’s way in affecting practically every decision made.  We are constantly weighing sides trying to come to conclusions that will hopefully lead us or others in a good direction.

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Cliques

Cliques – it is something that we all deal with in school.  It even follows us into adulthood.  If you are like I am someone who is an HSP it can be very difficult.

The Buddy Bench is about creating an opportunity for inclusion and eliminating loneliness. It is a simple idea to create awareness and empathy in the playground. Awareness of your play or classmates. To pay attention to others around you and be kind to each other.

They have these new Buddy Benches at my girl’s School.  I think about this topic a lot.  Even before she began school I worried about how she is treating others and being treated at school.  Luckily she turned out to be an outgoing, caring and sensitive child and so far in he primary years she is thriving.  That can all change and so I am a very watchful parent.

While the Buddy Bench disturbs me a bit I also think that it is a great project.  It also brings about a lot of discussion about bullying, peer pressure, and cliques.  The hope is that it will create an opportunity for kids to see and engage each other in activities.  There is so much that goes on unnoticed by parents and teachers.

We talk about bullying in the framework one or more kids intimidating another(s).  It is so much more.  I think we have to realize that there is a difference between being bullied and feeling left out or just someone being mean and inconsiderate. These overlap but we can still look at them separately.

Cliques – are groups of friends that leave others out, leaving no room for other interactions.  They make it hard for others to be part of a group.  It can be for different reasons that a clique forms but the result may be the same.  Feelings are hurt.  Sometimes people act differently when they are part of a group and that can be confusing.

“Why are they acting like they don’t know me? Yesterday they were smiling and friendly towards me”.

Everyone handles these situations differently and we have to look at different personality types and consider that while some are OK doing things on there own and are content with quiet spaces others are not.  Introversion and Extroversion.

How do we teach kindness and empathy to our children.  It is not something you can learn in a week long lesson plan.  It is an ongoing process that needs to be encouraged. Values that need to be instilled as they grow.

Whether it is parent, other family members, friends we need to live what we teach – do what we say ourselves. Hopefully they will live by example.

Acts of kindness and inclusion are contagious!

 

 

 

 

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New Routines

Today is about reinforcing new routines and to put more things into action and stop thinking things through so much.  This is a start. Writing stuff down. Realizing my habits and doing what I need to do to move forward. I spend way too much effort thinking up plans and wondering if they’ll work – trying to make them perfect and procrastinating to the point that I talk myself out of things never fulfilling that promise to myself not to ramble myself out of things.

This is my roughed-out schedule:

  1. Wake up early
  2. Get my kid ready and off to the bus
  3. Eat my own breakfast and tea
  4. Get myself showered, dressed and ready for the day
  5. Sit down and plan out my day (journal)
  6. Writing/typing
  7. Blog post on (?) Tuesdays

 

The first thing I need to do is get my weekly planner/journal going again.

Update: done

 

Some truths about myself are:

  1. I just need to write thing out on paper. I need to see and physically do list on paper of else I will not remember. I get a kick out of writing a to-do list and crossing it off when it is done. I have tried so many times, so many calendar and list apps that it makes my head spin. Simple works best – the old standby of pen and paper. I am putting away my attempts to organize my life by fruitlessly downloading apps and trying to instill them in my daily routine. The technology is just too distracting and not productive for the way my brain works.

 

  1. I am a pack rat that needs to move on. This is not new to me. I’ve known this for a long time but what is new is understanding the impact that it really has on me.  I feel trapped by how much stuff needs to be done (which really isn’t that much compared to what some people have to accomplish in a day).  We have too much stuff in our house which we don’t need or want, and I get overwhelmed looking at it, struggling over what to do with it.  Too many clothes to wash. Too many things to dust. To many bits of garbage and recycling to deal with.  Too many things that I want to get rid of, sell, donate or up-cycle but am too busy taking care of the rest of the stuff that belongs here. Then there are the objects that have sad or bad energy – the ones that tell a sad story and are a reminder of something that doesn’t sit well. An example would be that gift that was given that slightly insulted you or came to your possession during a bad circumstance. For someone who is highly sensitive having these things around is just asking for it.  What is its purpose in our house other than to remind me and bring me back into that moment. Those feelings all get dredged up every time I have to touch and move the associated object aside so I can reach some other item that I need.

 

And so it goes over and over… no wonder I feel spent by the end of the day.  I ride an emotional roller coaster.  This is what it is about – trying to find a path that is more easily traveled because that is how I will get to where I am going. That is a challenge.

Cleaning house and getting on the purging bandwagon. For the past year I have been working on shifting my mindset to this idea of simplifying our house and our lives. We are by no means extravagant people who go out a lot and have all the newest and finest, but we have somehow accumulated a lot of excess that really needs to go.

  1. I get totally bogged down by details. I am not a perfectionist. It is about myself and how the result of whatever I am doing. I am driven by what makes me comfortable.  It is not about having it write or wrong. I accept and am perfectly fine knowing that there is never a correct way to do things and everyone has their own vision. I am not such an egotist that I think my way is the best. If I am picky about how I layout my spread sheet or what font I use, how I stack the dishes or sort the laundry, it is purely for selfish reasons. It is about how that impacts me and makes me feel.

 

I need to let go of some of that and find short cuts. Pick and choose my battles because like relationships we can only win some. Some you lose. The rest is compromise.